The Rubber Band Gun

When I was a kid still at school I was in a clique with my brother and a friend. Our 'headquarter' was a secret room between a wall and the roof in our old farm house. A loose board in the wall was the door, and what was behind that no-one was allowed to see. Yet the room was so small that you could hardly sit upright and with three people it was already packed. We had heating, a little water tank, and whenever soldiers were in the village for manoeuvres we begged for some of their emergency provisions: We had enough army bisquits and chocolate to survive several days. We trained ourselves in rope-techniques (my brother still does theat - but on a much more professional level).

Of course we also had weapons: One was a special plug whith the wires connected to each other, in order to blow every fuse. An unimpeachable strike against our school and always a guarentee to drive the caretaker nuts. Another weapon was the obligatory rubber band gun: A 'single barrel' weapon to fire one rubber band at a time, and the rubber band would strike in an area of about two square meters around your target. We thought we could conquer the world with our rubber band guns, but as time passed by we grew up and apart.

And now I found this in a forum:



Poor little us to think we had advanced techniques...

Humor in the logbook

Every registered aircraft in the world - especially those belonging to an airline - has a logbook where the pilot reports failures or occurences during the flight. In airlines these logbooks are called 'Gripe Sheets', and whenever the plane reaches its homebase mechanics check these sheets, deal with the problems quoted by the pilots and confirm and explain the solution for the problem in the gripe sheet.

For quite some time abstracts from Qantas gripe sheets occur in the internet, and the mechanic's solutions somethimes are really funny. I don't have any evidence of the accuracy of these quotes, but I had a lot of fun reading them. Have fun too!

(P = The problem logged by the pilot.)
(S = The solution and action taken by the engineers.)

P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on backorder.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're there for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget.